Turn on the tv.
What do you see?
Twilight - - two Europeans falling in love.
Me Before You- Two Europeans falling in love.
The Fault in our Stars- two European's falling in love.
Pride and Prejudice- two Europeans falling in love.
The Notebook- two Europeans falling in love.
Titanic - two Europeans falling in love.

See a pattern?

What does the media say about the 'rest of the world' (aka non-white)?
Australian media is all about stopping immigration, seeing different cultures as a threat to our society. Asians are seen as smart, but they steal our jobs.
Africans are seen as strong, but they must rape and murder.
Aboriginals are seen as Australian, but they are dole bludgers and dont contribute to the community.

And immigrants? Oh dear.
They want to bomb us.
They want to take over with their religions.
They want to simultaneously steal our jobs and rely on Centrelink (apparently thats possible? :D ).
They want to take control and bring over their families and communities to live here too.

How threatening. ;P

Now, into this world of the visually perfect European relationship and threatening different cultures enter me, white Aussie blonde girl with privilege, and the man I married- a shorter immigrant from the Philippines.

In our first year of dating I had my well-meaning friends and family make comments.
"Are you sure he isnt using you so he can live in Australia?"
"Dont think of bringing an Asian into the family"
"I just cant understand him, his accent is so strong"
"Are you sure he is genuine?"
"You know its a lot harder to be in a multicultural relationship, he wont ever understand you, and you wont understand him"
"Why dont you want to be with an Aussie?"

Disclaimer- we laugh about these comments now, we have all grown a lot in the last few years.

My relationship has been viewed as a sham, people notice us in public and are shocked when we mention we are married. The assumption that he is using me for a place to live, is a normal conversation I have to have.

But you know what? My relationship with him as been easier than I ever expected.
You know why?

Dating is about getting to know someone, building intimacy to see if you can be a strong couple together.
I had to go into dating knowing that I cannot assume anything about him, his ideas about life and his culture.
I was open as I asked every question about his childhood, his country, his experiences in highschool, how he perceives relationships, and his culture.
And as I got these answers, I felt hundreds of similarities. He was human, he knew what it felt like to be loved by his mum, judged by his highschool peers, he understood music the way I did, he understood faith the way I did.
I became more open-minded as I tried new foods, learnt how to be respectful to his parents and learnt some parts of his language.
My heart? It felt home.
I felt at home in his culture, I understood it and it made a lot of sense to me.
I enjoyed doing things differently, I enjoyed the adventure of seeing things the way he did.
And he felt the same way.
He learnt how to cook an Aussie barbecue, and watch the footy drinking beer. He learnt that my dad was a bit overprotective, that my family always got together to watch State of Origin, that we all worked at the family business.

We found many similarities,
and we embraced and loved our differences.

I love the way he sings to me, because filipino dating culture has a strong part of serenading (because of Spanish roots). I love how his culture is so respectful of others, the way they talk, they show they love and respect their elders- something Australian culture lacks.

He loves eating snags (sausages on a barbecue), and he loves the way I cook spagetti bolognese. He has taken to drinking beer, and loves our humour.

Being in a multicultural relationship is amazing. Its a fusing of the best of two different cultures. Its becoming more open minded to different ideas, and it means that our kids will be smarter because they will speak two languages.

Stop the judgy comments.
Get to know someone for who they are.
Learn about other cultures before you go labeling them "a threat".
Dont judge someone by their outward appearance.
The heart matters.
Love doesnt have a colour.